The State of California’s Unions: Marriage and Divorce In The Golden State
FOREWARD Download and Print Whole Document
Forty years ago, California led the nation in becoming the first state to ease dissolution laws so that just one spouse could end a marriage, thus creating “no-fault” divorce. Intended to ease the burden on family courts by helping unhappy couples quickly end a seemingly unfixable relationship, the number of marriage break-ups surged, and in these forty years, millions of California’s children have found their families broken apart. Currently, about 120,000 California couples get divorced every year. (Judicial Council of California)
Divorce impacts the health, wealth and productivity of our great state. Worse, it has a lasting effect on California’s most precious commodity, our children. Over the last four decades, millions of California’s children have experienced the devastation of family breakdown. Research shows that children in a divorced home are significantly more likely to drop out of school, abuse alcohol and drugs, be involved in juvenile violence and crime, and be sexually and physically abused.
Sadly, the related social service impact on State and Federal governments of California’s broken families conservatively costs taxpayers more than $4.8 billion per year. (The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing, Institute for American Values)
Divorce has wreaked unanticipated havoc on the Golden State … on its families, its children and its institutions.
Fast forward four decades. California is attempting to lead the nation again … in measures that help couples create and sustain strong marriages and healthy families through Marriage Education.
Marriage Education is a skills-based educational approach in which individuals or couples are taught research-based skills that have been shown to increase effective communication, success in resolving problems and conflicts with their spouse/partner, and skills that increase marital commitment and satisfaction.
In 2006, the nonprofit California Healthy Marriages Coalition (CHMC) was awarded the largest Healthy Marriage Demonstration Grant ever given by the United States Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families (ACF).
Through the $11.9 million dollar five-year grant, CHMC partners with a network of California faith- and community-based organizations to deliver Marriage Education and Relationship Skills classes to California’s diverse population.
CHMC commissioned The State of California’s Unions: Marriage and Divorce in the Golden State to (1) determine how California residents view marriage, divorce and Marriage Education; (2) gain understanding about residents’ marriage and relationships, past and present, including relationship quality and family support; and (3) examine findings by demographic variables including gender, age, income, ethnicity, political affiliation, and religious involvement.
The findings presented in this report provide many interesting and often surprising results. While there is a lot of work to do to turn around California’s divorce culture, it is clear that the majority of Californians believe in the benefits of marriage and want theirs to be a successful one—both for themselves and for their children. One of the surprising results of this survey is that about one-fifth of Californians have already experienced the benefits of Marriage Education and Relationship Skills Training classes.
This is good news for The State of California’s Unions. And, just as “Eureka” (“I have found it!”) became the motto of the ’49ers who struck it rich here more than a century and a half ago, we hope that as the word spreads about Marriage Education and Relationship Skills Training, California will be seen once again as the place where people can strike it rich through a mother lode of marriage-support resources available in our state.
Dennis Stoica, President
California Healthy Marriages Coalition
SECTION 1 • THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA’S UNIONS OVERVIEW
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
California Healthy Marriages Coalition commissioned The State of California’s Unions: Marriage and Divorce in the Golden State to (1) determine how California residents view marriage, divorce and Marriage Education; (2) gain understanding about residents’ marriage and relationships, past and present, including relationship quality and family support; and (3) examine findings by demographic variables including gender, age, income, ethnicity, political affiliation, and religious involvement.
The statewide telephone survey of 2,005 Californians aged 18 and older was conducted between January 4 and January 24, 2008. Residents were asked a comprehensive set of questions about their attitudes toward marriage and divorce, opinions on marriage and divorce policies, and past and present experiences with marriage, relationships and Marriage Education. The margin of error for the sample as a whole is ± 2.2 percent.1 Key findings are presented below.
Key Findings
Californians’ Views on Marriage and Divorce
• Californians value marriage as an institution and hold traditional views regarding marriage and commitment. More than eight-out-of-ten Californians (84 percent) believe couples who marry should make a lifelong commitment to one another, to be broken only under extreme circumstances. A total of 82 percent of Californians believe divorce is a serious national problem in the United States today and only 10 percent of all respondents believe marriage is “an old fashioned, outmoded institution.”
• Californians believe strong marriages benefit children. More than eight-out-of-ten Californians (84 percent) believe children should ideally be raised in a household with married parents and almost everyone (95 percent) agrees that fathers are as important as mothers for the proper development of children.
• More than half of Californians who are not currently married believe marriage would increase their overall happiness and would improve outcomes for their current or future children. Three-fourths of unmarried Californians (76 percent) would like to be married someday.
• The majority of Californians believe that good marriages are built on hard work, not luck. More than nine-out-of-ten Californians (97 percent) agree or strongly agree that most married couples have worked through good times and bad times together. When asked if they believed couples with strong marriages are “just luckier in love,” 58 percent disagreed or strongly disagreed with the statement.
• Many Californians hold strict views and reasoning about divorce. Respondents were asked if they agreed that married people should get a divorce if they: (a) could not get along; and, (b) if they no longer loved each other. More than half of all respondents reported that neither reason justified divorce (54 percent disagreed that the inability to get along was a reason for divorce, and 58 percent disagreed that falling out of love was a sufficient reason for divorce).
Marital Status and Relationship History
• More than half (52 percent) of all adults in California are currently married. Three-quarters of currently married Californians (75 percent) were married by a minister, clergy or priest, followed by 15 percent who were married by a justice of the peace.
• Nearly half of all married couples in California (45 percent) have children under the age of 18 who live with them or visit regularly.
• Most Californians (59 percent) did not live together prior to getting married; however, there were important differences by age. Generation X respondents, (between the ages 25 to 43), were more likely than Boomers (ages 44-62) and Builders (ages 63 and over) to report that they lived together prior to getting married. Younger respondents were also more likely to report that they believe cohabitation increases the chances for a good marriage.
• Among those adults not married, more than one-third (35 percent) have a main romantic involvement and, of those couples, most are not living together. Of the more than one-third of unmarried Californians who are involved in a serious relationship, 59 percent are not living with their partners.
• Among those unmarried Californians involved in romantic relationships, 10 percent report being involved in a gay or lesbian partnership.
Family History of Marriage and Divorce
• More than nine-out-of-ten Californians (92 percent) reported that their biological parents were married. Of those marriages, one-fourth (24 percent) ended in divorce.
• Among Californians whose parents divorced, the majority (81 percent) reported that they were negatively affected to some degree by the divorce.
• Californians whose parents divorced were statistically more likely to report having had little involvement with their biological fathers while growing up, compared to respondents who had grown up with a married mother and father. Less than one-third of respondents whose parents had divorced (32 percent) reported their father being “very involved” in their upbringing, compared to 58 percent among respondents who had grown up with a married mother and father. Similarly, respondents with divorced parents were much more likely to report their fathers being “not at all involved”—21 percent compared to 4 percent among respondents who had a married mother and father.
Relationship Quality
• A total of 87 percent of married Californians report that they are “extremely satisfied” or “very satisfied” with their relationship. More than half of married Californians report that they frequently spend one-on-one time with their partner (53 percent) and more than three-fourths (76 percent) report that they have great conversations with their partners like good friends. More than eight-out-of-ten married Californians report that their partner frequently shows them love and affection.
• The majority of Californians are highly committed to their marriage and want that relationship to thrive no matter what rough times they may encounter. More than nine-out-of-ten Californians (91 percent) reported that they agreed or strongly agreed that their relationship was more important than almost anything else in their lives, and 96 percent said they wanted to stay with the marriage no matter what rough times they might encounter. When asked if they might not want to be with their current spouse in a few years, 90 percent disagreed or strongly disagreed with the statement.
• Although a small percentage of married Californians report suffering physical abuse in their relationships, 19 percent reported that their partner can be emotionally abusive when angry. When asked if their spouse had ever become physically abusive, 87 percent reported “never.” When asked how often their partner had been emotionally or verbally abusive, 19 percent reported “sometimes” or “frequently.”
• A total of 97 percent of married Californians expect to be married for life, and 93 percent said they would marry the same person if they had to do it all over again. Two-thirds of married Californians have never considered their marriage at risk for divorce (67 percent), and more than three-quarters have never discussed the possibility with their spouse (77 percent).
• Married couples reporting the greatest levels of satisfaction were also more likely to report the following:
• Higher levels of commitment to their partner;
• More frequent dating;
• The ability to talk as good friends; and,
• Less frequent conflicts and negative interactions (including lower incidence of verbal and physical abuse).
• Lower-income respondents reported more difficulties in their marriages, including the incidence of violence and physical abuse, compared to other married respondents. Nearly one-quarter of low-income respondents reported that physical violence or abuse was a “major factor” contributing to their divorce compared to 14 percent among middle income respondents and 12 percent among high-income respondents. Respondents living below median income were also more likely to report feeling trapped in their marriages. A total of 12 percent of low-income respondents reported that they felt trapped in their marriage, compared to 5 percent among other respondents.
• Less than half of Californians surveyed reported that they received “a lot of support” from their relatives, their faith community, their friends, or larger community in handling the challenges of marriage. Californians receive the most support for their marriage from their own relatives, followed by their faith community.
Separation and Divorce
• One-third of Californians (34 percent) have ever been divorced.
• Among those who have been divorced, 63 percent had children under the age of 18 living with them at the time. More than two-thirds (69 percent) reported that the divorce negatively affected the children to some degree.
• The two most common reasons for divorce are lack of commitment and lack of communication, followed by infidelity, too much arguing, and getting married too young.
• Looking back on their divorce, nearly two-thirds of Californians (63 percent) believe that they and/or their spouse could have worked harder to save the marriage.
Marriage Education and Counseling
• Just over one-third of currently married Californians (36 percent) participated in pre-marital preparation.
• Nearly nine out of ten respondents who had attended a pre-marital program (88 percent) found the experience helpful (“very helpful” or “somewhat helpful”) and 72 percent reported that the program strengthened their relationship.
• Most couples (88 percent) received pre-marital preparation from a church or faith-based organization. Fewer than 10 percent had received pre-marital education from a counselor.
• A majority of respondents who are not married (65 percent) said they would attend pre-marital education classes if they were to get married and those programs were available at little or no cost.
• When asked why they decided not to attend a pre-marital program, married respondents most frequently cited “no need.” The second most frequently cited reason for not participating was lack of information about the existence and availability of such programs.
• One-in-five married adults surveyed (22 percent) reported that they had participated in some kind of relationship education program, not including pre-marital education. Those who had not participated in a program were asked if they would ever consider attending a marriage enrichment workshop or a relationship skills class if it were available at little or no cost. Nearly half of those respondents indicated that they would be willing to consider such programs.
• Among married couples who attended relationship or Marriage Education classes, 95 percent found the classes somewhat helpful or very helpful and more than three-fourths (80 percent) reported that the experience strengthened their relationship.
• The most common reason for not wanting to participate in relationship or Marriage Education programs was “no need” (64 percent) and “no interest” (39 percent).
The majority of Californians (58 percent) are not aware of any relationship, Marriage Education, or pre-marital preparation programs available in their communities. When asked if relationship and Marriage Education programs were offered in their community, 17 percent reported “no” and 41 percent reported that they did not know.
• A total of 19 percent of married couples have attended one-on-one couple’s counseling.
• Among those married couples who attended couple’s counseling, 87 percent found the counseling “somewhat helpful” or “very helpful” and 71 percent reported that the experience strengthened their relationship.
Views on Social Support for Marriage
• Californians receive the most support for their marriage from their own relatives, followed by their faith community.
Few report receiving this kind of support from their local community (14 percent).
• The majority of Californians believe faith-based organizations, followed by mental health centers and counselors, have the greatest responsibility to provide relationship and Marriage Education programs.
• Nearly half of all Californians surveyed agreed that employers should sponsor relationship-strengthening programs for married couples, or offer benefits for employees to strengthen their marriage or relationship.
Views on Public Policy Issues
• Most Californians support public policies to improve relationships, strengthen marriages and reduce divorce.
• More than half of all Californians (58 percent) agreed or strongly agreed that state and local government should provide additional resources to help strengthen families by strengthening marriages. When presented with options concerning specific government programs, more than eight-out-of-ten surveyed agreed that Marriage Education or counseling should be required prior to a divorce being granted.
• The majority of Californians agree in support of teaching Relationship Skills to teenagers as part of their high school education, promoting and incentivizing couples to receive Marriage Preparation, and giving couples a last ditch opportunity to improve their relationship (through Marriage Education or couples counseling) before getting a divorce.
1 The margin of error is 2.2% at the .05 level. The margin of error is greater for some analyses, depending on how many respondents answered specific questions.
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